Changes

Who am I?

Who am I really? Not the person I show to the world, but who actually am I?

I think I’ve lost my way a bit.

I’ve changed into the very person I never wanted to be, the one thing I vowed to my closest friends I wouldn’t become.

I need to look at my life and the choices I’m making and re-evaluate. I need to make the changes and stick to them and live with the consequences.

I think I became too comfortable with what happened that it made me think it was okay.

I hurt people I’m close to, I hurt people I was becoming close to and I hurt people I wanted to be close to.

I fill my head with these ridiculous expectations of how my life should be and when it doesn’t fit right I act out. I get angry and end up doing something I regret.

I need a break from having to live a lie every day and I need to be me again.

It’s now 67 days until I return to my second home. Camp gives me this release that nothing else can. I can be completely me and completely another person all at the same time.

I need to make the changes in my life now so that the next two months I don’t end up with even more regrets than I have from the last two months.

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